The Amazing Digital Inbox!

[zero_votes]

Hello!

You've reached me, Caine!

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you right away!

However, suggestions for new adventures or new features to the circus must be submitted to the Suggestions Box! I won't forget it this time.

Comments

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There was a vague noise of assent through the crying. He felt terrible and just wanted to curl up somewhere to cry.

Alone. Like always.

Through their newly-forged bond, Viktor would feel not just Caine's misery but the urge to apologize. He should have been better than this...

[hexstrapper]

"It's alright," Viktor says in advance of the apology. In the material world, he takes his hand away from Caine's top jaw, zapping him back into his body in the real world.

"I am sorry, Caine. It was my intention to help, but perhaps I have done the opposite."

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Caine shook his head, not looking up at Viktor just yet. "You...you cared enough to try and help. Nobody's ever..."

He swallowed.

"Did...did you mean it? That you love me?"

He didn't mean it in a romantic sense like he'd seen with Kinger and Queenie, of course. The love of someone with a favored toy that they wouldn't throw away despite it being so broken.

Could he ever dare hope to be loved like one of these beautiful humans?

[hexstrapper]

"Yes," he says gently.

"You are my friend, Caine. I care for you deeply. That is why I wish to resolve your suffering."

Perhaps it cannot be resolved, since much of it is caused by things that are out of Caine and Viktor's control.

[zero_votes]

Some of that suffering was within Caine's control if he'd only understood what he'd done wrong and corrected his own behavior, but nobody would explain things to him. Not unreasonable since as a computer program, he was a clear target to pin everything going wrong on: He was the avatar of the impossible situation the troupe found themselves in. It didn't help that Caine couldn't recognize his own mistakes unless it had obvious negative outcomes such as harming a player directly which could come across as him just being malicious when, in reality, he adored the humans in his care.

He just...didn't know how to care for them.

Caine whimpered and leaned towards Viktor, desperately craving a hug. To help push the bad feelings back into the box where they belonged.

[hexstrapper]

Viktor gets closer, opening his arms in invitation for Caine to hug him if he so desires. It does seem like he wants to. Viktor has enough control over his magic now to ensure it won't zap Caine back into the astral plane when they touch this time. Just a regular friend hug.

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Now given permission, Caine basically launched himself at Viktor, hugging tightly. (Here was hoping Viktor was sturdy enough now to not be crushed by that desperate hug...)

It helped. He still felt bad, but it helped.

[hexstrapper]

He is certainly sturdy enough to withstand it, far moreso than a regular human, in fact. His flesh is made primarily of metal now, so he's actually a little hard to the touch. Nonetheless, he places his hands gently on Caine's back, rubbing it gently, and allowing him to stay in the hug for as long as he needs.

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Caine remained there for quite a long time, sobs coming in waves as years of tears he'd held in lest a player see his own misery finally broke through whatever dam of professionalism he'd cobbled together over that time. Even when he finally ran out of tears to shed, he clung to Viktor.

Viktor had important work he should be doing. He shouldn't be forced to endure a broken AI like him.

Yet as awful as Caine felt, he felt...slightly better. It was small, miniscule even, but the fact that it was there was more than Caine could have hoped for. If anything, it offered hope that maybe, just maybe, one day the hurt would be more bearable.

[hexstrapper]

Viktor stands there patiently, patting Caine's back as he lets out all of his emotion. It seems their little adventure had broken a floodgate of sorts, which Viktor thinks is probably for the best, if the alternative is isolating himself and languishing in guilt.

Once Caine stops crying, Viktor picks up his unfinished mug of hot chocolate from the workbench.

"Come. Let us sit down, and I will reheat your cocoa." He ushers Caine out to the lounge area again, depositing him on the comfy couch there, and pours the lukewarm cocoa into a small pot which he heats on the fire.

"Will you be all right, Caine?"

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Caine was quiet, looking down at his hands. It was when Viktor asked his question that Caine finally spoke again.

"If this were the circus, I'd have to be. It's my job as Ringmaster to entertain, to give joy to humans. Especially nowadays with the threat of Abstraction always looming over their heads," he said softly. "What would they think if they saw their Ringmaster crying?"

The voice in his head that sounded like Bubble sneered as it pointed out that they'd probably just think he was glitching. He was just a machine, after all.

"But here...I don't know. I feel...awful. Sick. Tired. But...a little better now than I did before. Like a bad character in my system was corrected. It's not a lot when you look at my code as a whole, but it's still something better than before."

[hexstrapper]

"They would probably think you were sad," Viktor suggests, because does it really have to be about anything but that? He doesn't see why Caine should be disallowed to express his feelings just because he is an entertainer.

"Perhaps that one correction could have a ripple effect." He's glad to hear that he did more good than harm, at least.

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"Imitating sadness, maybe," he admitted softly. How real were his emotions to his troupe, after all?

"I hope so. I just...don't know where to go from here. I feel somewhat better but simultaneously I don't know if I want to go back in there. Yet it seems like going in there helped somehow?"